The Wisdom of a Swan

Just to prove that humans are morons, I'll use myself as an example: I sat there and watched "The Swan" again.. Except that this time, I was ready with a notepad to immediately spit out all the constructive lessons that I acquired..

As a result of this research exercise, I bring you "The Wisdom of a Swan":
- Beauty is in the bones, you just need to uncover it. I had heard of necrophilia, but never of skeletophilia. So many logistic problems to be solved.. It's just not worth it..
- We just need to do surgery in order to highlight her natural beauty. Aka "We must wage war in order to have peace" or "I chop off my fingers because they'll grow again"
- At Kenny Rogers, you can have a wholesome meal. Come to think of it, this might have been a commercial.. I remember my experience at said establishment.. They serve a rather unique vegetable fly salad.. Fly as in the one with wings that goes 'buzz'.. But I can't blame them for the vegetarian attributes of the dish: the fly was BIG and GREEN.. Such generous portions..
- They'll show three times each scene, especially when the chicks with issues cry. So, in an hour's time (half of it being commercials), you get about 10 minutes of show.. As I was writing this on my notepad, they showed it again.. So now that's four times.. Awesome..
- I really thought she looked feminine and beautiful. Two words for you: BOOBIES.
- The presenter won't shut up until the chicks cry. I'm guessing that the casting for this show involves picking the loudest whiner from a room full of dumped chicks.. I wonder if they use a mechanical hand like in those carnival games.. Man that would be a great toy to have around..
- If you want to join "The Swan", log onto swancasting.com. I'm there.. I have all the features needed for this show: I can cry on command, I would love to have awesome boobies to play with at my office, my cat dumped me for the sofa set..
- 5... 5 times each scene. AWESOME.
- One of the chick's boyfriends was 'upset' about the whole show and afraid that she might look weird. My dear moron loser: SHUT THE FUCK UP. This show is transforming your chick into some kind of hot fudge, and you get all whiny about your insecurities?? I have the perfect place for you.

Swantastik! x 5